The Good Men Project

"Manly books don't always have to be about seducing women, surviving in the wild, and sports."

BeSportier

May 30, 2010

I forgot how hard launches are

BY LISA HICKEY

“The subhead looks funny. I can’t figure out if it should have a period.”

We all keep working. Benoit will figure it out. He’s been a writer for the New York Times Magazine. The author of two books. Surely he can figure out a period on a subhead without help from us.

“Can anybody help me figure out why it doesn’t look right?”

“I’ll google it.” Henry doesn’t sigh, but his foot starts tapping a little faster. Benoit says, “I’ll look on Salon, see how they do it.” “Hmmm…they’re inconsistent, let’s try Slate.”

My keyboard clatters as I type. “Forget those pubs, how does the Times do it?” I hadn’t wanted to worry about subhead punctuation protocol, but we’re four days away from launching our own online magazine, and it has to be right. We search for subhead trends in every publication we aspire to.

“Does anyone know how to change the size of a video in blog post?” Sarah had been surprisingly quiet as she chewed her lower lip.

I lean slightly right, point to the part of the screen she’s scowling at. “Maybe…I think….here…in the embed code. Try reducing these numbers by a percentage.”

Sarah’s face lights up. “Ahhhh…calculator?”

I slide my phone over to her. We laugh.

Surely there are more important things I have to do. There are contracts to be signed, revenue models to figure out. There’s the content strategy for the next 6 months, the second book we’re putting together, the playwright we want to hire. The magazine isn’t even the biggest initiative going on since Tom Matlack and James Houghton envisioned this idea of a national discussion around men’s stories over a year ago. But for today, the launch of The Good Men Project Magazine is the most important thing in the world. I’ve promised the team I would focus on just the magazine, and that’s what I’m here to do.

I look around the conference room table. We’re a motley crew. It would be easy to label us: man, woman, old, young, gay, straight, single, married, divorced, tattooed, uninked, tall, short, have children, don’t. I won’t bother to tell you which of those describe me. But when you’re committed to a common vision, differences are irrelevant. We all love sentences. We understand the importance of design. We believe in the power of stories. We want to do some good in this world. This thing called The Good Men Project? It’s important to us. And we want to create something amazing.

And we’re four days away from a magazine launch and the subheads have to be figured out.

“Let’s go with no punctuation.”

“We can’t. Some of the subheads are two sentences. You can’t have a period on the first, but not on the second. That’s why it looks funny.”

“Some of the subheads aren’t sentences.”

“We have to be consistent.”

A while ago I had seen a question floating around the internet. The question was “If you were investing in a CEO, would you care how passionate they were?”

My answer to that question was that I think sometimes excitement gets mistaken for passion. Pure excitement about something? No – look at the numbers instead. But – to me – passion is really about caring. In relationships. In business. In life. And yeah, caring is important. Caring about the little things. Caring about the big things. I’d put my money on passion. For sure.

Benoit and Henry have settled on a format for the subheads. I know they will move on; a standard has been set, documented, and put in place. We will be consistent. We will be clear. We will be interesting. We will care, always.

There are new decisions to be made. “Hey Lisa.” Benoit is ever-serious as he poses the next important question. “Which headline do you like better for this article – ‘monogamously challenged’ or ‘make love like an animal, cuddle like a man?’”

I smile. I wouldn’t trade working on this launch for any job in the world.

On June 1st, this blog will become The Good Men Project Magazine. Hope to see you all there.

 

May 13, 2010

A Community of Good Fathers

Filed under: Guest Blogger — Tags: , , , — tmatlack @ 6:00 am

By: SARAH HURLEY

How we can help men become better fathers? A recent event held by The Fatherhood Program at The Children’s Trust Fund in Boston brought together several groups seeking answers to that question.

We began with introductions. I was there as part of The Good Men Project, and joined the great array of people who were very enthusiastic about what they do and what our united place in the solution can be. One woman runs the parenting class for men at the South Bay prison, another heads the Nurturing Fathers Program, and many more came from organizations geared towards rehabilitating men struggling with substance abuse and homelessness back into becoming good fathers.

A common theme was men not feeling they have a place in the family — especially hard for the fathers who missed out on the beginning of their child’s life. Often the men would feel their family is ‘better off’ without them. This is born out of fear, fear that they might not know how to parent an older child, a young woman, or know how to assimilate into an already existing family unit. Many of the men in these programs had absent fathers themselves and therefore had non-existent models of parenthood. The goal is to show these men the specific contributions they can make to the family, to let them know their role is still important, and to demonstrate to them that a family is better off with a father involved.

Bernie Fitzgerald, chief probation officer at the Dorchester District Court, explained Five Principles of Fatherhood. He runs a twelve-week Fatherhood Program headed by male corrections officers on a volunteer basis. Bernie says it’s “the most important thing we do.” He has seen families brought back together through this program and watched as comradery spreads through the support the men give each other. There was agreement from all participants that the more time men spend with their children, the more they become aware of the bigger picture — gaining respect for the mother of their children, perhaps even seeking custody. It’s not that love for their children did not exist in these men before entering such programs, it’s that it was clouded by distractions. Once men begin to open up in a group and see the reality of the situation with a sober perspective, they often yearn to be a part of the family.

An interesting conversation was about groups that are all male-led and all male-participating. Even the many women participants understood the benefits — that the all men groups become a safe haven for men to open up about issues that sometimes only other men will understand.

Helping the way children are fathered in our community is something that benefits everyone living in the community. It’s not just for the mothers, families, and school systems…the cycle of crime, violence, and poverty can all be correlated with broken families and lack of support.

I left the program with a deeper understanding of why we all need to participate in this conversation to create positive change. It’s not just about the men who need guidance, it’s also about the men who can help guide and become a part of this fraternity of men who give each other the help and support they need.

*****

Sarah Hurley is Media Production Assistant for Good Men Media Inc., a part of The Good Men Project. For more information on The Fatherhood Program or other Good Men Project initiatives, please contact us at info@goodmenbook.org

 

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