Algie Ray Smith
The following essay earned second-place honors in a regional contest organized by Monica Edwards, the public and youth services supervisor at the Logan Public Library in Russellville, Kentucky, and Ricardo Federico, a contributing author for The Good Men Project anthology. The theme of the contest was “What it means to be a good man in the 21st century.”
By ALGIE RAY SMITH
The poet William Wordsworth said, “The child is father of the man.” What that quote implies is that what many adults become, many things that adults do, have direct links to their childhood experiences. Because Wordsworth seems to have hit upon a universal truth, what it means to be a man in the present century has already been influenced by his upbringing; therefore, the importance of what a man is, is primary to behavior patterns of future generations.
My work ethic can serve as an example of what a child learns from being a man from a man, either his own father or other suitable role model. My grandfather taught my father to earn his own way and to explore all possibilities of work opportunities. My father practiced this when he became an adult. He worked at various jobs and was somewhat of a financial success at almost everything he did. As a child, I not only noticed how hard he worked, but I began to feel that I, too, must explore work opportunities in order to accomplish my life’s goals.
When I needed funds, my father would say, “Let’s see what there is that you can earn the money you need.”
He helped me to explore childhood jobs: selling hulled walnuts, mowing yards, delivering newspapers, shoveling snow, and more.
When I became a man, I already knew what avenues of opportunity were open to me; and, to come right to the point, I usually had a few dollars in my pocket to spend on things I needed or wanted.
A man, then, must have probity, promise, and persistence. He must not feel entitled.
My father showed me how to talk through my problems, how to explore avenues to solve them. He showed me how to avoid violence and how to not strike back when someone angered me. He was not proud of me when I came home from school with a black eye. He did not ask, “What does the other fellow look like?” Instead, he asked me how I could have avoided the fight in the first place by having me relate how the altercation came up in the first place. It was not that he wanted me to be a coward; he did not want me to be a fool.
A man, then, must have a peaceful nature, seeking nonviolent situations.
My father showed me that a worker does not have too much time for “watching” the lives of others. I must not spend abnormal amounts of time fawning over sports figures, movie stars, and the like. To take part in a youthful sport, to watch an occasional movie, or to admire a celebrity was okay; but I was not to obsess over them to the point where they disrupted my open exploration of future personal endeavors.
For today’s man to heed my father’s advice in this matter is more important than ever because so many of the so-called “celebrities” are not proper role models. Some appear to be dishonest, immoral, and subject to bad habits like drug abuse, gambling, and pornography.
Today’s man must balance the things that fill his life, not leaning too heavily on those that will never be of any use to him. He can watch sports, movies, and the like; he can have hobbies. He must not become addicted to them.
A man, then, must have proper perspective for all his activities, not letting his life be dictated by any of them.
My father was a promise keeper. I told him when I finished a project, whether it was suckering a tobacco patch or slopping the hogs, that I could do something that I wanted to do. He told me that if I really needed a ride to school or town in bad weather, he would stop what he was doing and take me. If he promised me to pay for a bicycle if I got a paper route, he bought the first bike. And he promised me that if I would work for him one summer, I would get my first car. And I did.
A man, then, must be a promise keeper. He must be careful with promises and never renege on one made in good faith.
My father taught me to take pride in my body and wellbeing. He often told me that the work, or the walk, would do me good, that exercise was healthful. He took me to the great outdoors where he hunted and fished and often hiked away the afternoon with the excuse that the covey of quails was just over the next hill.
He had tattoos, but he did not have them covering his entire body. He did not have body piercings. He did not spike or dye his hair in wild colors. He did not alter the shape of his teeth. In short, he kept his weight within limits of his height. He practiced good hygiene. He believed in bathing.
A man, then, must return to the type of respect for his body that ancient cultures had. He should not be a walking one-man sideshow, defiling his life’s temple.
My father once told me, “All honest work is good. Do your best in whatever you do.”
A man must approach his daily grind as the UPS delivery person does. He must display a purpose by his actions and attitudes. Each day he must have an attainable goal in mind.
A man knows that work is necessary even though it might seem to be a slow way of getting all the rewards he desires. He must not be taken in by what seem to be “easy money” schemes. If he starts with nothing, then every small gain is a victory,
A man understands that he is not owed anything because of something that happened in the past of his ancestors. He lives in the present while making opportunities for his children’s future.
A man must be professional, making careful career choices.
A man who marries must take on his share of the responsibilities of the union. He must not look upon his spouse as being unequal, whether or not the spouse is adding to the finances. He must respect all members of the family, showing them that each has a place, a role, in the larger unit.
William Joseph “Billy” Batson, the crippled newsboy in the comic books of my childhood, had only to shout “Shazam!” to get the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, the speed of Mercury, as well as the flashy red suit. Today’s man has no such magical incantation to make him invincible; but he does have one thing he can call upon. He has only to say, “I am a man.” And if he says this with sincerity, he can become even more powerful than Batson’s Captain Marvel.
In review, what does it take to be a good man in the 21st century? Repeat them with me: perspective, promise, persistence, peace, principles, possibilities, and pride in appearance.
If a man is a believer, he would also do well to take heed of Colossians 3:17: “And whatever you do in word or deed, do it in the name of the Lord”
[Photo by Cheree Federico]
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