1.) Who taught you about manhood?
Jason Silva: I would have to say my dad. He’s definitely a thrill seeker and adventurer. He flew small planes and raced speedboats, went nuts on off-road motocross, and always told me to keep my eye on the prize. Yet he’s also extremely sensitive and melancholic, traits which I think are just as much a part of modern manhood.
Max Lugavere: My dad! He taught me that real men don’t need to like sports. They don’t need to like beer. That one can be fashionable, into art and design, and not have to apologize for having sophisticated tastes.
2.) Has romantic love shaped you as a man?
JS: Definitely. Romantic love is the ultimate yearning to create meaning in an indifferent universe. It is our way of saying, “I am here. This moment matters, and I love you.” When in love, we try to eternalize ourselves in the other, to consummate with the divine. To be a man is to lust for some permanence in a world that is fleeting.
ML: To a degree. I’ve been shaped more by my romantic failures than my victories.
3.) What two words describe your dad?
JS: Handsome and irresistibly charming.
ML: Unapologetic hedonist
4.) How are you most unlike him?
JS: I love beautiful music and wildly philosophical ruminations. He likes simpler pleasures, like food and drink. I’m also less likely to take physical risks, whereas he’s taken plenty.
ML: I’m unlike him in that I’m a major health junkie, whereas he tends to live his life by his hedonic urges. Which is totally fine. But I consider myself more of an epicurean—constantly weighing the immediate gratification with the potential consequences. Eating healthy, working out, yoga, staying abreast of the latest research, etc. is immensely gratifying for me because I know that it’s rewarding me in ways I have yet to even fully realize. My obsession with longevity is the gift that keeps on giving.
5.) From which of your mistakes did you learn the most?
JS: I’ve learned to sleep on an issue before making brash decisions. I’ve learned in general that being well-rested is crucial to mental and emotional health. I’ve also learned drinking too much is never worth it, ever. The hangovers always suck.
ML: I have learned that you should never waver from following your bliss. And that you should never lose sight of the fact that your health and happiness are all that really matter. Two quotes have been resonating with me a lot lately:
“The most important thing in life is to enjoy it—to be happy—it’s all that matters.”
—Audrey Hepburn
“Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.”
—George Bernard Shaw
I just love those.
6.) What word would the women in your life use to describe you, and is it accurate?
JS: They would say I am incredibly intense, romantic, passionate and obsessed with “capturing the moment” They would say I’m obsessed with filming little romantic musings and wallowing in a beautiful setting. And they would be absolutely correct in saying this.
ML: Gemini. I don’t really get astrology, but for women, it all makes sense. I’m telling you, they know something we don’t.
7.) Who is the best dad you know, and how does he earn that distinction?
JS: I adore my father. He’s always been there for me. I want him to live forever and just provide that sense of assurance you get when your father hugs you. Plus, I love the smell of his colognes!
ML: Again, my dad. He raised me with one governing philosophy: “Only the best.” No compromises, no substitutions. When I decided one summer that I wanted to take up canoeing, he went out and bought me a canoe. When I thought I might want to be a professional mountain biker when I grew up, he bought me a $1,500 mountain bike. Jet skis? He went out for milk and bagels and came back with two Yamahas. When I insisted over and over again that I wanted to build a working go-cart with a flaming exhaust just like the Batmobile, he took me to the lumber store and we bought 100 pounds of wood to try to build that thing. It barely moved and all I got from it was splinters, but my dad helped me build it.
8.) Have you been more successful in public or private life?
JS: Good question. I’d say both, although I have to admit, sometimes I wonder if my impassioned desire to make an impact in this world has distracted me from having longer romantic relationships. My younger brother has travelled the world with his beautiful girlfriend. He’s got iconography that easily turns his relationship into poetry. I’d like more of that.
ML: I feel successful in both. I love my work, I love my friends, I love my family, I love where I live. I feel very expressed—creatively, physically, emotionally—and that goes a long way in life.
9.) When was the last time you cried?
JS: I cry regularly. I plan for it. I jump headfirst into emotionally moving films. I surround myself with artistic environments in order to elicit a sense of wow. If I can attain that revelatory ecstasy from music or a moment, I will easily weep. Beauty makes me cry, perhaps because what it hints at is the exception. Although I find beauty everywhere, I like wow moments.
ML: The last time I cried was when my cat, Harlem, died. I rescued her in NYC, and then took her to Miami with me for school, and then out to LA. She was my buddy for six years. She was such a special little girl, and from one day to the next she went into heart failure and had to be put to sleep. And so young. It was all due to some crazy, rare congenital defect. It was a nightmare.
10.) What advice would you give teenage boys trying to figure out what it means to be a good man?
JS: Empathy, compassion and passion are key. Follow your bliss, as Joseph Campbell said. Be romantic. Fall in love. Jump headfirst into that lucid dream. Chase transcendent moments. Look for inspiration. Pay attention. When you get goose bumps ask yourself, “What caused this, and how can I re-create these circumstances?” Believe that everything is possible. Be kind to people. Smile a lot. When a girl rocks your world, tell her.
ML: Be kind. Real men are kind to animals. And don’t worry about what your friends are thinking. Fuck being macho. Or being cool. To this day, I still don’t know what the hell a “down” is in football. I’m not kidding. And I don’t care. Just be true to yourself.
For Bonus Points: What is the your most cherished ritual as a guy?
JS: One of my favorite rituals is seeing films by myself. I often escape on certain afternoons into the cocoon of my favorite theater, alone in my thoughts, ready to be affected by a work of art. Distractions must be eliminated. Plan for transcendent moments. I always do, and I’m convinced that inspiration can be “engineered.” We needn’t be passive.
ML: It’s definitely not shaving. I guess my most cherished ritual is getting away with minimal self-maintenance and still feeling like a member of the human race. Women are many great things, but quick-to-get-dressed is not one of them.
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Jason Silva and Max Lugavere are the faces of Current TV, the Emmy award–winning network launched by Al Gore in 2005 and now available in 60 million homes. Silva and Lugavere’s flagship show, Max & Jason: Still Up, features short-form documentaries from around the world. In 2008 they hosted Pangea Day, a one-day global broadcast of short films that was viewed in more than 150 countries and by as many as 500 million people. They were recently featured in the GAP Icons campaign and are developing a series of long-form documentary projects.
