Guest Blog by Mike Austin
There is something intrinsically fatherly about splitting wood.I’m talking about grabbing an ax, a sledge hammer, and a steel wedge and whacking away at a cut section of log. Can you feel the testosterone?
I learned to split wood from my dad, when I was about 11 or 12 years old.It was a matter of necessity.We had a fireplace, and if our family was going to enjoy it, the wood had to come from somewhere.
Every summer we spent a day in a stand of timber that one of my dads friends owned, cutting down two or three trees. When we took a break, Dad and I sat on the tailgate of his old Ford and ate the sandwiches my mom had packed, and we talked a little. Then we rode home completely tired out. We talked about how hard the work had been, but neither one of us complained too much; we had to show we could take, it I guess.
Early each fall, Dad and I spent another day working together, out back of our house, splitting the wood from the trees we had cut down. We split the wood and systematically stacked it so it would be easy to grab on a frigid winter night. I dont think Dad meant this annual task as any great learning or bonding experience, but I got a lot more than just neat sections of logs for my reward.
We shared a common goal, and that gave us the chance to connect on many different levels. We talked about school, his job, my girlfriends, his childhood (when he was a boy he had to get up every morning and stoke the fire in the stove and fetch more wood), and life in general.I also learned some basic things, such as how being careless with tools will land you in the hospital (I actually caught the ax in the head oncemy fault).
Dad has been gone for more than 25 years. But now I get a great deal of pleasure watching and helping both my sons split wood for our fireplace.We talk and I tell them about my childhood and their grandpa, and I teach them the things my father taught me about the wood, the tools, and life.
If you have the opportunity, I urge you to try this chore with your son or your daughter. The rewards you get will be much greater than a pile of nicely split and stacked wood.
*****
Mike Austin is a voice actor and host/producer of Radio Dad with Mike Austin, a nationally syndicated daily radio feature about being a dad. Mike is the father of six children ages 6 to 18. He and his wife, Lisa, live in southern Wisconsin, where Lisa is a stay-at-home mom and Mike works like crazy.
I have many similar memories with my own father. Even though I am now grown, I still look back on those times watching him split logs that I couldn't as a time when I was so proud he was my dad. A role that I hope I one day take in the eyes of my own children
Comment by sjpetteruti — December 8, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
I never split wood with my dad, but learned how from my Great-Uncle Don when I visited him one fal in VT. It was one of those moments that stayed with me. I valued the chance to bond with one of the men in my family (I did not grow up with my dad), it was a skill I didn't need to use until almost 30 years later, but knew how to do it when I needed to, it was a productive release of male energy – hard work for a good reason!
Thanks for giving me a chance to remember that warm fall afternoon in Vermont.
Comment by @STRONGFathersME — December 8, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
(I'm going to have to post my message in three comments)
Thanks for the story. I think it goes back to my feeling that society is evolving faster than our physcial bodies. That is a problem men deal with. We no longer need to be bigger, stronger, and faster to feed and protect. Yet, we're still in these same bodies that were designed for that purpose. Since boys are all too rarely taught how to be a responsible man – the tribal rite of passage – in too many cases the outlet is violence toward others.
Though my work with the Indiana Youth Institute, I have been involved in a regional responsible fatherhood coalition. I see firsthand that these destructive behaviors fill up our jails and prisons, and wreck families. We need to know that it okay to be masculine, if done in productive way.
Comment by Joe Shrode — December 8, 2009 @ 4:37 pm
Splitting wood is something I loved to do as well. I used to live in a house in the woods with two fireplaces and two woodburners. I would put on my favorite man clothes, drive my $500 truck to the bottom of the hill, split wood with a maul and sledge, then load it up and bring it to the house. The saying is true that he who splits his own wood warms himself twice.
This ritual allowed me to both be physical, and provide for my family.
When my son was born, we moved to a subdivision where it would be safer and there would be other kids. I moved to a house on a cul de sac in a subdivision. There was a fireplace with a gas insert. In that respect, I felt emasculated. Now that he's 8, I make sure I include him in my "big stong worker guy" chores.
Comment by joe shrode — December 8, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
Mike, I have a manuscript called "Between the Lines: A Father, A Son, and America's Pastime." It has been picked up by an agent who will begin pitching to publishers in late January. I recently had a guest blog posted on the Good Men Project site that featured pieces of a few of the short stories. There will be over 200 short stories about the relationships established in a baseball setting between adults and kids…coaches and players…fathers and sons. You can access 15 or so of those stories at http://www.btlfatherson.blogspot.com
I would be honored if you would take a look at them and give me your feedback. I'd be happy to send you more of the manuscript if you're interested
Comment by joe shrode — December 8, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
Joe,
I will take a look at your work this weekend! Maybe an interview on my radio show, "Radio Dad with Mike Austin". Thanks for the headsup.
Mike
Comment by Mike Austin — December 11, 2009 @ 9:25 pm
Look to me page http://rotacnistipacka.sweb.cz/
Comment by Zden?k Rackiewicz — January 12, 2010 @ 7:26 am